Feeling a little bit like myself…..

Sort of….I mean, being pregnant changes everything. Your body is simply not yours. Mentally it’s a huge change in the way you are as a human being. You don’t really recognise yourself in the mirror. It’s not sad or happy, it’s sort of indifferent. Slowly but surely you being to heal. Although your belly button, which once looked like a circle is now more a sad face, reminds you that things will never quite be the same.

What I have come to realise is that feeling like your ‘old’ self is a state of mind. Yes your body looks different. You exercise and dedicate yourself to salads for lunch. But on the inside you are changed too. And that requires a different sort of healing. Friends help massively, I am sadly far away from my friends. And if you are lucky, family will be around to help you too. Again, I did not have this luxury.

So I have very slowly started to heal on the inside, to find my inner confidence again. For me it was about feeling strong again, mentally and physically. Fitting into a nice summer dress and being able to walk down the street like the confident, independent woman I used to know well. I am not all there, and honestly have a long way to go. I am not the same person that I was for sure, I am a lot more self conscious. But everyday I am trying hard to do little things that help me back. This was a good day and the photo captures it well:

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