Imagine being on death-row after a 50 year prison sentence (read: pregnancy). Now imagine for the last 7 days you have been alone and naked in a desert. Blistering, boiling wind slashing at your face. Sand clogging your throat. Blisters on your feet. And all the while being repeatedly whacked by a thin whippy branch (read: labour)
Now imagine, a few minutes ago you were considering giving up on life altogether (read: crowning) The voices around you which had been repeatedly shouting push had made you want to commit murder (if only you could have detached your super-glued hands from the bed frame) you hear something which makes you simultaneously gasp and hold your breath…..
‘would you like a cup of tea and some dinner?’
OMG SCREAM cry laugh rock back-and-fourth in delighted demented hysteria
A.CUP.OF.TEA. (cue single silent small warm tear rolling down left cheek)
Nurse: Do you want to hold the baby again?
inner voice – CUP.OF.TEA.
Midwife: Should we try breastfeeding?
Husband: First photo time! Yay!
Is that the tea trolley?
Dinner/tea Lady: Perhaps some macaroni cheese and a cup of tea?
Here was my first post-birth meal. Still the.single.best.mac.n.cheese.and.cup.of.tea.ever.eaten.ever. Amen.